Well its a few days before the new year, hopefully everyone is thinking about, writing down, and or actually getting a jump start on their 2013 goals :).
Studies have shown that the more concrete the goal, the more likely the person is to complete it. So saying, “I want to lose weight”, “I want to get published”, aren’t valid goals. Well, they might be valid, however, they have two things wrong with them 1) too vague, 2) the goal is not directly controllable for the person.
So the first step in our little goal blog today is:
Define the goals:
Work backwards. Where do you want to be in a year from now?
In as concrete terms as possible put down exactly where you want to be. Then map your way to it in nice, easy to digest chunks. (I like weeks personally ;))
Control the goals:
If I want to lose 30 pounds, and I break it up into nice little x-pounds per week chunks- I could still be messing things up because my body may not lose weight at that ratio. There are many different variables that make up weight loss- such as our body type, our fitness level, genetics, age, etc. So to say, “X-pounds per month” is setting things up for a big disappointment. Then you get depressed, give up, and go eat a pint of rocky road. The trick is to make as your goal something you CAN control. For weight loss this could be “I will work out for 30 minutes a day 3 days a week, and go for 45 minute walks 6 days a week.” This is something YOU have control over- if you fail, regardless of the reason (no time, things came up, etc) the onus is on YOU to fix it. Plus, in terms of weight loss- when you get enough healthy goals lined up you WILL lose weight ;).
Responsibility for the goal (or failure):
The problem for many folks is that they place the “success-o-meter” for their goals in the hands of something other than themselves. Psychologists refer to it has an external locus of control. My happiness, or success, is in the hands of someone else, whether it be fate, luck, some higher power. If a person has an external loci of control, they see that their happiness, sadness, success, etc is out of their hands. "I'm not happy because (outside action, person, event)." Or I’d do that “wonderful thing to change my life BUT”. These could be called the ‘because’ and ‘but’ folks.
It's also true for responsibility of ones life and actions- external locus of control folks are never to blame for their own failures or mistakes. It’s not their fault their life isn’t what they want, or they can’t reach their goals- it’s always the action of something far beyond them.
Folks with a more internal locus of control see themselves as the steering action for their lives. If they succeed at something- it’s through their own hard work. They fail at something? It’s them who dropped the ball. And it's up to their to get back on course.
Now guess which group has more control in changing their behavior? In succeeding in their goals?
Like all personality and social behaviors, people range from one end of the spectrum to the other- probably no one is at the extreme end for either side. But as people who want to gain control of our lives, one of the first things we need to do is take responsibility. Develop your internal locus of control ;).
Future Time Perspective concerning goals:
This is a psychological theory about people’s ability to delay gratification now in order to achieve a goal or desire in the future. Aka, how much are you willing to suffer now to reap future rewards. Like locus of control, people range on this scale. Some folks are close to zero. They’re the 'I want it now, I don’t want to set aside time to advance my goals, I want to watch tv because it gives me immediate enjoyment' bunch. Those folks have a hard time making the reality of those future goals concrete in their heads (and most are going to be on the external locus of control end of the game too- if you can’t control your future, why should you give up current pleasure for it?).
People with a strong sense of future time perspective have trained themselves to see what they want (define their goals), adjust those goals as needed, and can connect their current actions with those future goals. They adjust to dealing with getting up at 5am, to watching less tv, playing less with social media, giving up some time with friends (not too much, social contact is vital for mental health ;))-because their future goal is real to them and they see they have control over it.
Notice I said train themselves. Through upbringing people may be at one end or the other on both of these scales. BUT they can train themselves to be better. To realize they have control over their lives (both good and bad events), that sacrifice now is important for success later on.
Flexibility of goals:
Goals should grow and change as you do, don’t hang onto a goal just because you wrote it down. Take a look at your goals regularly, and change them as needed.
Hope all of you have some great goals for 2013!
I don't make New Year resolutions or goals. I do them on a daily basis. I put my butt in the chair and write and edit for six hours each day. Though I do find having a todo list helps. Happy New Year!ReplyDelete
That;s great Marian! I like to think of them as recharging goals-LOL. If I think of them only as NY goals it's too easy to dismiss them in July. But the changing of the years can be a powerful time :).Delete
Have a great year and thanks for coming by and commenting!
I'd add tell others, I find when I tell friends and family what I'm doing, they help me :).ReplyDelete
Nice post- got me thinking!
That's a great one too, Stacey! I find the more folks who can nag me the better ;).Delete
Thanks for coming by and commenting!
Thanks for an excellent post! It's what I need to see BEFORE New Year's Day.ReplyDelete
You are most welcome, Julie-- and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, I find that I have a tendancy to freak out if I have to come up with a "plan" on the spot.Delete
Have a great new year and thanks for coming by and commenting!
A nice, practical post. You explained it well (says she, who wants to lose that weight I stacked on for 5 years). Yes, take control and go and do. Good stuff.ReplyDelete
Thanks Greta! Hopefully it'll help you create strong goals- I know I have some extra pounds that need to be AWOL as well ;).Delete
Thank you for coming by and commenting!
I love this post! It really helped remind me how to set achievable goals that I can control. So often I say, "I want this" but I don't always break it down into steps. Thanks for the great inspiration. I hope we all achieve our writing goals for 2013!ReplyDelete
Thanks Tara! I'm glad it reminded you of what we need to do to keep our goals alive and well :).Delete
Have a GREAT 2013 and thanks for coming by and commenting!
Great philosophy. Thanks, Marie.ReplyDelete
Thanks for coming by, Susan :). I'm glad you enjoyed it.Delete
Have a great 2013!