Wednesday, August 7, 2013

IWSG: Fear of Success

Happy IWSG Wednesday!!

For those of you who don't know- IWSG stands for Insecure Writer's Support Group.  http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com/p/the-insecure-writers-support-group.html

 Once a month, writers from all over shout their fears into the cyber void and hope for a little hand holding or at least a cup of tea in support.
Today I'm talking about one that I don't really have and don't really understand: fear of success. Now my educational background is psychology, so I understand it, it just isn't one of my many afflictions ;).

 Fear of success often refers to a state of anxiety that can overwhelm a person just on the cusp of realizing their dreams.  They may appear to self-sabotage (or actually do it).  This can happen for a number of reasons including being found out to be a fraud, fear of loss of privacy, fear of the "other shoe dropping" (and bad things happening).

 I think for me, my fear of failure is so overwhelming that the fear of success gets squished.  I will admit, the other shoe issue does pop up in my head when things go right sometimes.And I can see a loss of control if the success is defined as having a writing contract with a traditional publisher.  The author really losses control over what they write once they have a contract.  Plus, no control over when the book comes out, the title, or the cover.

 But I don't know if that fear of loss of control is really a real fear for me and not sure if that counts as fear of success.  

 So which are you- fear of success or fear of failure or a combo of the two?  How does it impact your writing?

 Have a great IWSG Day and thanks for coming by!
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22 comments:

  1. M PaxAugust 7, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    I fear failure more than success. Success probably has its hassles. I'd love to find out what they are. :)

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:28 PM

      LOL!! I agree M!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  2. Julie RobinsonAugust 7, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    Success--fear of all the business aspects; fear of being in the spotlight and having to do or learn modern day marketing, like speaking, teaching a class, learning twitter, etc.; fear of some people not liking me anymore out of jealousy or because what I've written goes against their 'sensibilities,' fear of disappointing people who expected better, or perhaps different, writing from me. Or they expected more that I was able to give. Fear of committing in writing and fear of people (including hubby) taking a character or scene too personally. Fear that 'it's never good enough' so I never have a final copy--that I'll notice improvements that can be made (yes, editor never shuts up!)

    I think fearing a loss of control over your writing is a fear of success. After all, your writing is out there. You've gotten that far.

    So I think in fearing success, I fail to produce.

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:29 PM

      You've made some excellent points, Julie. Especially about that lack of a final copy- there's always something to fix!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  3. Linda Thomas-SundstromAugust 7, 2013 at 10:26 AM

    I don't fear success... I WANT success. So I guess you could say that I'm not truly a vulnerable writer in that case. I usually like what I write (usually, key word here), and know when I'm in the ZONE.... so I like to assume my editors and readers will recognize how much effort I put into my work, and see the honesty in it. Now, I impatiently wait for success to hit! LOL
    *waving*
    Linda

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:30 PM

      LOL!! I wanna be you when I "grow" up, Linda! LOL!!! I think that is wonderful, to understand ones own craft and skills so well. Something for me to aim for :).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  4. Chemist KenAugust 7, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    I can't wait until my fear of failure drops to the point where I start contemplating the fear of success.

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:31 PM

      I know what you mean. Ken. It's hard to see the fear of success as an issue for me too. But I have great neurotic skills, so no doubt I'll develop it when the time comes ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  5. Lisa KesslerAugust 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    Hmmm... I fear outsiders ever seeing my disastrously messy office! YIKES!!! LOL

    I don't think I fear success or failure really... I'm pretty goal oriented and I'm stubborn enough to keep after what I really want. I think sometimes I forget that there is no destination it's all about the journey so at times I have to slow myself down and recognize where I am.

    I'm ready for success and I wish it would hurry and get it's butt over here! LOL

    Great blog Marie!

    Lisa :)

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:33 PM

      HEH!!! Heck, at my house they'd run away screaming before they got far enough in to see my office ;).

      That is a great way of thinking, Lisa! I'd say you are soundly on the road to success young lady!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  6. HuntressAugust 7, 2013 at 2:21 PM

    I don't think I have either one, fear of success or failure. But maybe each of us defines success differently. To find a publisher is success. To write the last page of the novel is success.

    Failure to do *anything* is the real tragedy. To not try.

    Seems like Yoda said something similar :)

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:35 PM

      Ah, very wise (and yes, very Yoda) of you, Huntress :). And I agree, deciding just not to play is the saddest of all.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  7. UnknownAugust 7, 2013 at 6:31 PM

    I think I have a combination of both from time to time and when it happens I start to sabotage myself with insecurity, overediting and criticizing myself far too much

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:36 PM

      Ya know, the two might actually not be mutually exclusive, J. I think someone could have both issues. I know I have internal dialogues with myself that I would never say to a friend.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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    2. Julie RobinsonAugust 7, 2013 at 9:43 PM

      I know what you mean! The more I think about it, the more I see that perhaps the fear for me is failing at succeeding, if that makes sense. Not living up to (my) expectations. I fail to succeed, so I won't fail at succeeding.
      Thanks for a thought provoking day in self-analysis.

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    3. Marie AndreasAugust 9, 2013 at 5:57 AM

      I like that, Julie! The fear of failing to succeed--perfect. Ok, not perfect, because we have it- but a great description :).

      You're welcome for the thought provoking, and thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  8. AnonymousAugust 7, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    Ah success. I think Huntress has the right idea. Breaking down what you consider a success; like another chapter done, a second draft completed, might be the way to overcome the fear of success. If you can survive little successes, why not the large ones? I'd like to try one of those large successes on for size. It might be too small, it be too big, but it might be just right.

    Sharon

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 7, 2013 at 8:37 PM

      Well put, Sharon! I'd like to try one of those large successes as well :).
      Just to see how it looks on us-LOL!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting :)

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  9. Susan BurnsAugust 8, 2013 at 6:04 AM

    What I fear most, now that I sometimes think I'm a success, is thinking I'm a success.

    I'm afraid I'll become like those big name writers, agents, or editors--a very few I'll admit--that think they're so successful others should bow down in their presence. And many times, we find ourselves doing just that.

    When editors and readers tell us our series should be made into a movie--and somewhere, somehow, we find ourselves getting a swelled head about it--we have to be careful.

    Oh, did I just use the word "we" to refer to myself, or am I referring to all of us?

    All I want to do is grow as a writer/storyteller/entertainer. But resting on laurels sometimes thwarts such progress.

    Like the Incredible Hulk Author might say: Don't make me successful. You won't like me when I'm successful.

    Susan

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 9, 2013 at 6:00 AM

      LOL!!! I love your final quote, Susan ;). True- I hadn't thought about that, but we have all seen NY Times best selling authors who have gone into Ego-Land.

      I don't see that happening to you, you appear pretty grounded :)- but we'll keep an eye on you just the same!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  10. Mac PerryAugust 10, 2013 at 6:38 AM

    It makes me think of people who win the lottery; they've never had so much money, so they don't know how to handle it, and typically lose most if not all of it. That would be the fear of success for me, worrying that I wouldn't know how to manage my priorities to the best of my abilities. This doesn't mean I wouldn't like the opportunity to face my fears! Great post.

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    1. Marie AndreasAugust 10, 2013 at 11:08 AM

      I hadn't thought of that, Mac, but that's a very good point. We work so hard to get to our goals- we may not mentally be ready for them when we get there!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting! (and I hear ya- I keep telling the Universe I would be a WONDERFUL rich person/successfully published author if it would just give me the chance! ;))

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