Wednesday, October 1, 2014

IWSG: Fearless Writing

Welcome, yet again, to another chapter in the Insecure Writer's Support Group saga!  For those of you yet unawares of this group- it's a monthly chance for writers from all over to gather and share our hopes, dreams and fears.

Join us!  http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html



Today is about fear and loathing ...

Fear is helpful when you are running for your life from a crazed wild animal or ax wielding lunatic.

It's not so helpful when you are trying to write a book.  Or a series.  Or launch a writing career.

First I suppose we should define fear:

fear
fi(ə)r/
noun
  1. 1.
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.



The definition doesn't sound like something that should affect writers.  We're sitting in our own space, most likely not under threat of bodily harm, yet we all most all experience some type of fear about our writing.

Even though we are clearly not under physical threat--as used the in definition above--we could be said to be operating under mental threat.  What will happen to our livelihoods when we fail?  Or, if we're still holding our day jobs, what will happen to our sense of self when we fail?

Note I say WHEN we fail.  We will fail, it's the nature of what we do.  If we approach our writing fearing that we'll fail, we're already making things worse.  Accept it.  You will fail.  I will fail.  If we've been at this a while, we've already failed many times.

But fear can cripple a writer. And not just fear of failure- but fear of success.  Perverse as the human mind is, we can even fear both at the same time.  These fears can stop us from writing or can make us find so many folks to get feedback from that we kill our work.

So how do we move beyond fear when we write?

First, like I said above- accept it, embrace it, make buddies with it.  Maybe make a little fear doll to sit next to you when you write.  Acknowledge it every day. YOU control it- not the other way around.

Second, make notes of what scares you at that point.  This will probably change at different parts of the process- so acknowledge each one during its time.

Third, follow that fear to the ground.  What would be the worse thing that could happen if what you fear is true- comes about?  Now go over the top with it.  Will the world still stand?  Friends and family still love you?  WILL IT STOP YOU FROM WRITING?

Fourth, tell your fear you are doing it anyway- and get back to writing, editing, pitching, or selling- whatever stage you are at- hug your fear, and move on.

The only way to be fearless is to embrace your fears and let them make you stronger.






40 comments:

  1. I loved how you talked about the fear of success as well as the fear of failure. Actually writing a book is the easy part--it's like you're still in your safe little bubble. It's when you try to put your work out into the world that things get scary.

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    1. Thanks, Sarah! I think both fears have the power to incapacitate us-although for me failure seems to be my bigger demon ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  2. I'm not going to let fear of failure keep me from writing. Maybe no one will ever want to read my books, but I'm not going to stop writing.

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    1. I love your spirit, Ken! As long as you keep that up I can guarantee at some point down the line, people will be clamoring for your books!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  3. Accepting that you'll be afraid is the 1st step to being brave. No matter where we are in our writing career, we all have moments (hours, days, weeks) of fear. Getting past that fear is key.

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    1. Well put, Diane. I think sometimes people think they have to deny the fear to be fearless, but that's not the case :).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  4. Great post, and great questions for us to ask ourselves. Mainly: "WILL IT STOP YOU FROM WRITING?"
    Wow.
    You know, I think lately the answer to this, for me, has been "yes." and that is pretty pathetic. I will work on that.
    I love the "fear doll" idea...except that will lead me to more crafting and I have too many unfinished projects laying around! lol I might still do it, it is actually a really fun thing. Maybe all writers should have a fear doll, someone to sit on the corner of our desks (silently!!), listen to us without judgement, and remind us that we are the ones in control.

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    1. Thanks, Amelia! I hope things turn around for you soon- and if you do make those dolls please tell me-LOL! (although we don't want them taking away from you're writing!)

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  5. LOL! You remind me of when I moved to NYC. What was I so afraid of? The crowds? The smoking? The constant noise or exuberant cost? (Yes.) Turns out we survived and even thrived in some ways, but I was darn glad to get out of there. When we face our fears, we come off conquerors. No way around it.

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    1. I bet you came back from NY a lot stronger, Crystal! I admire that you could do that, I've never been to NY but London drove me crazy and that was just for a few days vacation. But now you've done it and can face anything :).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  6. It's good to play the what-if game... it does work to make that fear crumble to dust :-)

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    1. Agreed, EE! I will use it when I find myself freaking out about just about anything. As writers we can come up with some pretty extreme "what-if's" and it becomes silly pretty fast ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  7. It's absolutely true that we fear success, because, then what? When we stop letting fear control our actions, we can dare to be successful.
    Play off the Page

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    1. Very good point, Mary. Perhaps fear of success should be approached a bit differently- see what lies behind it. Do we think folks will find out we're a fraud? Or do we worry what will happen once we reach our goal? Luckily as writers we are always improving our craft, so we are never at our goal!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  8. The fear of success is as powerful as the fear of failure. It can stop you from moving forward in life and make you miserable.
    Elizabeth Hein - Scribbling in the Storage Room

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    1. Exactly, Elizabeth. I think as we move forward in our careers we have to recognize it and hug it, say no thanks, and move on :).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  9. I think of it this way, I won't let fear stop me from doing what I need to do. When it comes to writing, it is my one and only true vent. I'd turn into a monster without it, now that scares me. :-)

    Anna from Shout with Emaginette

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    1. That's great, Anna! Your non-writing monster can smash your fears when you put them in perspective- I like it!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  10. I like point three about free. It's true that if we do that, we may find out what we fear isn't as scary as we first thought.

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    1. You have it, Patricia! When we face down our fears we weaken the hold they have on us.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  11. I gave my fear a couple beers and he left me alone.
    Fear comes with the territory. We just have to plow through it.
    Thanks for contributing to the book!

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    1. LOL!!! I hadn't tried beer, but my fear may be partial to Smithwicks, so maybe I should give it a try! ;) Thanks for coming by Alex, and starting this whole thing!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  12. Thoughtful post. The last line is priceless. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you, JQ! I have a vision of all these writers hugging these fears and making their families wonder if they've gone around the bend ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  13. "hug your fear, and move on" I love it. Hugs are easy!

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    1. Thank you, Lynda! We could have a writer movement supporting hugs against fear ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  14. Most of what we fear is only in our heads. We make it big and scary. Sometimes we can just say out loud "STOP." Fear knows we are talking to it and once we have the power, Fear begins to fear not having control and worries more about itself than bothering us.

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    1. Very well put, Dean! Fear gains power when kept in the dark, when we think there is something wrong with us for having it, or that it's true. When we drag it out into the light we can control it.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  15. I want a fear doll. Bad. I think it needs to be posable so that when we tussle and I win, it can look suitably thrashed.

    Sharon

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    1. Sharon- we have to work on that! I know as I was writing this post I was thinking, "Dang- those would actually be kinda cool!" And I think thrashablitiy is needed ;).

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  16. I always fear my current WIP won't be as good or better than previous books. The fear is in all of us.

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    1. As long as the fear doesn't stop you, and you acknowledge it, you'll make it through. Since you said, "books", Susan, I think you're probably doing a good job at moving forward!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  17. Love this post! Embrace your fears and let them make your stronger—yes!

    It's great to meet you through the IWSG!

    ~Kristin
    IWSG co-host
    http://swordsandstilettos.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks, Kristin! And very nice to meet you too! :)

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  18. It's weird how writers can fear success as much as failure, but I do it too. Thanks for an inspiring post!

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    1. Thanks, Lori! maybe because we have such creative brains we have advanced fear creation skills? ;)

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  19. I am terrified every time I submit a short story. I feel fear each time I work at editing. The strange things is the only way to get over fear in writing-is to keep writing.

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    1. Great point, Echo. If we stop doing what we love, the fear gets worse and can paralyze our work. Keep moving forward!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  20. Very well put post. Fear comes from within us, just like our work, so we should be able to control it just the same. Like you say, just keep going and don't give it more room than is warranted.

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    1. Thank you, Nick!

      Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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