Wednesday, November 6, 2013

IWSG-Fear of Losing the Love of Writing

Insecure Writer’s Support Group Wednesday
Happy IWSG day!   Yes, the once a month “howl our fears at the moon” day for writers from across the globe.
Today my insecurity stems from a fear that the soul-sucking nature of our business will permanently drag me down. Let me get one thing clear—I LOVE to write.  When left to my own happy little devices I am a purring writer clam.
But I am also a writer who wants her work read someday.  Read by more than just a handful of folks. Which means dealing with the business end of things.
I have four books that are ready, able, and willing to go play in the outside world.  And a few forays have been made—lots of interest, but no one who LOVES them the way I do (and to be honest the way an editor or agent needs to). I’ll get nibbles-even big nibbles—then they don’t work out.  And it sucks a little bit of my soul out. For those of you who are Princess Bride fans, it’s like that damn Albino is working on me with that machine.
After a few such “almost there- so damn close’s” I start to slide into a funk.  And I can’t work on any of my work because the editor side of my brain starts judging everything at that point.
I know that I am a good writer and I know that “playing the game” is part of it—even if one goes for Indie Pub instead of New York.  But I just can’t seem to get my heart and psyche to agree it comes with the business.  

So that’s my fear for this month—that the business of publishing will kill my joy of writing.