Wednesday, June 1, 2016

IWSG# Impostor Syndrome

Welcome to another trip into the weird, the wacky, the chronically insecure world of The Insecure Writer's Support Group Monthly Blog!!

Once a month, writers from across the globe join in solidarity and shared misery (and joy) to shout into the great void of...the WRITER ZONE!!


Join us!  http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html

Today is all about being an impostor. A writing impostor. I have been writing off and on for over half my life- which is a scary thought, especially if you know how old I am, and no, I am not going to tell you ;). And I have realized I feel like an impostor sometimes.

Now, first off the definition is of high achieving people who fail to be able to internalize their success.  Eh, I'd say anyone who is trying to move forward in a field that has vaguely defined success markers, and is probably in the arts of some sort, AND feels like they are not really what they are trying to be--has it.

For example:  I have a day job as a financial aid program coordinator at a major university.  I handle all of the state grants. It's a pretty big job. I don't have a problem telling folks I know what I'm doing and I am a financial aid professional.

But that is my job-for my career, my writing, I have realized I feel like an impostor. It's not a new feeling, I just never gave it a name before.  What triggered my "OHHH! That's ME!" response, was looking at some workshops for a writers convention I'm going to in July. One of them was dealing with Impostor Syndrome.

I swear a giant light bulb went off over my entire neighborhood at that. "My goodness- I have THAT!"

And sadly, I know I am not alone with my writing compadres in this. We are in a field with very few, "This person MADE it" goal posts. NYT bestsellers, multi million dollar contracts, etc- those folks "made it"- for this rest of us, it's a lot more vague.

Is it getting an agent? Then what if the agent can't sell your book?  Are you still a writer?  What if the publishing house dumps your series after one book?  Are you still a writer?  What if you go Indie? Are you still a writer?  Even once you get your books out there, and folks are starting to respond- you still have to ask yourself- am I really a writer?  And there's often a little voice who will say no. 

I think realizing that I do play this dialogue in my head, that I do have a tendency to see what I haven't achieved instead of what I have achieved, is a good start. But, I'm going to have to keep working on it.

What about you?  Do you feel like an impostor sometimes?  How do you deal with it?  Happy IWSG day!




19 comments:

  1. Yes, that's a good way of putting it actually, "imposter syndrome." Funny how we all have it, huh? I never get why, especially with particularly talented writers I know.
    Thanks for the reminder to post for IWSG, too!

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    1. Thanks for coming by :)

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  2. I feel like an imposter all the time. But you are a writer. If you write, you're a writer. I'm published and I still feel like I'm an imposter sometimes. How I deal with it is just to go back to writing. It's what gets me through tough times. Hang in there. Good-luck.

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    1. Very true! I've found getting back into a story puts everything back in perspective :).

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  3. Boy, oh, boy, did you ever nail it. Great post. You gave me a lot to think about. Enjoy your conference.

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    1. Thank you! It's RWA Nationals in July :) (followed by Comic Con the week after ;)).

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  4. First of all, Marie, when I look at you, I know you are an imaginative writer, even when sometimes you think you're not. Creative people know each other.

    Second, my father told me I can be anything I want to be. That wasn't exactly true. There are only a few sand grains that can rest at the top of a pyramid.

    My goal is to entertain with paranormal and sci-fi stories that stimulate me more than what's out there.

    I think of the movie, "The Last Emperor." The emperor was totally self-absorbed, treated like the center of existence by his people, until he discovered a way of service. That's where I'd like to be, but it is disturbing to us creative ones living in a world that has to measure everything it does. Let's not accept that way of being. It's destructive and has little to do with the truth.

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    1. Thank you Susan :). You make some very good points!

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  5. Sometimes, when I look down at my words and see how lame they are, I feel like an imposter as far being a writer. I suspect that will never go away.

    If you finish your book, then you're most definitely a writer.

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    1. Thank you, Ken- I'd say you are a writing too and I'm sure the words you've written are much better than you think!

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  6. Yup, sure do. Because my release isn't with a big NYT (though it's with a mid-sized pub) and I don't get a print copy (digital imprint) and it's a "fluffy" contemporary book not an "issues" book. I can go the Imposter route all day. But I do remind myself that 5 years ago my goal was to finish writing a book, and this year I will be published and will receive actual money for something I wrote. That doesn't come from nothing.

    Thank you for a great post. None of you are imposters! Squash that evil Imposter voice!

    Goal, Set, Check! Setting SMART goals

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    1. Very well put! We need to focus on what we have done- and where we're going :).

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  7. Oh yes. As every day ticks by that I'm not publishing another book, I feel it. It's like, geez Loni, it's been almost 3 years. You're a failure. *hangs head* I just do my best to ignore the voice and keep on plugging. I'll get it. I'll get it.

    You are definitely a success in my book, Marie!

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    1. You are NOT a failure, Loni! Look at what you've done so far! You're just taking a breather, I know you'll be back up and running in no time :).

      Marie- at day job can't log into blogger ;)

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  9. I always feel like an impostor, and not being published only adds to that feeling. I try to remember that no writer is ever 100% confident or successful, and many of those I admire failed a ton before *succeeding*...

    https://ryanscarty.wordpress.com/

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    1. But you keep moving forward! That's what matters :).

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