With this group, we have the option to run wild on our own, or answer a monthly question. Today I decided to do both!
First, my own little bits of madness. Writing life. When something bad happens to a writer: rejection, bad reviews, more rejection, etc, we often go global on it. The "Oh my GAWD! A reader hated my book! An agent rejected me! I MUST SUCK!" This is true for all aspects of life but I'm just focusing on the writing part ;). One apple is bad, therefore we must burn down the entire orchard in our woe.
Yet when something great happens--good reviews, nice agents, winning awards, we get excited immediately, then it fades. Part of our tiny lizard brain is certain it was a fluke or mistake. We don't go there with the bad stuff, oh no. That is clearly an indication that we are awful writers.
But the good? "Gotta be a mistake." I very recently (like last Friday) won an award through the Fantasy, Futuristic, and Paranormal chapter of the RWA--a Prism. I had my moments of doubt when I was named a finalist for Warrior Wench. Then extreme happiness when the book won. Then back to doubts. Seriously? Why is it we are conditioned to make the bad global and the good a "fluke"? (I'm asking- if any of you know why ;)).
I realized that was pretty dumb (and yes, I have a Master's in Psychology and it took all these years to realize that was a dumb way to operate ;)).
Did the win change my life? I now get to call myself a "multiple award winning author" so that's cool. But aside from that-no changes in sales, or life in general. But guess what? The bad things didn't destroy me either. So to all of my fellow neurotic writers out there- let's treat our successes at least as focused as we do our failures!
Onto the IWSG question of the month--Peeves.
My biggest as a reader is when an author focuses on something, extremely focuses on it...then doesn't do anything with it. I read a lot of series, so I know sometimes a focus on one book doesn't pay off until a future book. But when it never does? GRRRRRRR.
What's your biggest peeve?
Happy IWSG Day!
LOL! Authors are so bipolar. =) Honestly, it doesn't matter how mentally and emotionally stable we are, this business is brutal. I think only big name politicians deal with the same level of trauma.ReplyDelete
HUGE congrats on the award. Rock on!
Yes we are! We're in an insane business, and we keep coming back for more! Thank you for the congrats!Delete
Congrats on your win. I'm sure you earned it. :-)ReplyDelete
Anna from elements of emaginette
I think we're conditioned by culture to do it, particularly women, I'm afraid. If only I knew how to re-condition my brain!ReplyDelete
We just need to keeping shutting that behavior down when we catch it. For me, it's catching it that's the issue!Delete
Congrats on the Prism award! I was just at RWA National experiencing a very different conference this year. I was a Rita award finalist for best first book and I had a lot of trouble believing I deserved it. I know I worked hard and I'm proud of my book, but it's a fluffy YA about fashion and girl power and cute boys. I think we're toughest on ourselves.ReplyDelete
Here is my IWSG post for August: Top First Pages Pet Peeves AND How to Fix Them!
Congrats on the Rita final! I've never entered that one, but I know how very hard it is to final :).Delete
Congrats on the Prism! Tough award with great competition. You should be very proud of yourself! I'm the same way about reviews. I remember the bad ones and forget the good ones. How dumb can I be? LOLReplyDelete
Thank you! When I really sit down and think about it, I'm gobsmacked! We need to ignore those negative reviews and charge forward!Delete
Congratulations on the award, that is awesome!ReplyDelete
The negative does stick with us. Conditioning? Need to change that, they say you can. Not sure I have the patience! :)
Thank you! I'm hoping that being aware if it will help me change my thinking ;).Delete
Being a writer is like being on a long winding path. You can't judge yourself on where you were a few steps ago, you have to compare yourself to where you were when you first started. Little ups and downs will be swallowed up by the entire journey.ReplyDelete
Very well put!Delete
Congratulations on the win-- embrace self-doubt and use it while editing. It is just a part of who we all are as writers.ReplyDelete
With all the trials, life's little moments are still worth it.
Thank you and a very good idea :)Delete
It does seem e are more inclined to believe the bad than the good. Human nature i guess.ReplyDelete
Congratulations on being a multiple award winning author! That's awesome. :) My biggest pet peeve when it comes to reading is when a book has errors galore, whether it's spelling or grammar. Have a great night. EvaReplyDelete
I think society conditions us. We are taught to deny complements and believe criticism. How often do we find ourselves minimizing our accomplishments when someone complements us. Years ago, a friend asked me why I could not just accept a complement, why did I have to qualify it with phrases like "I didn't do that much" or "Anyone could have done the same." Now when I get a complement, or win an award I say "Thank you." And guess what, I now believe it when someone complements me.ReplyDelete
What's hard is how much society (read people)judge us. If you just accept a complement without marginalizing it, people often think you are arrogant or conceited. If you show confidence in your abilities you are arrogant or conceited. Now I am working on not judging others. I am actively working on admiring people who are confident. It has made a huge difference.
Grats on your awards. I have read both winning books and the awards are well deserved. Keep writing, I look forward to the next books.