Wednesday, August 2, 2017

#IWSG Peeves and life

Welcome, yet again to another episode of how the neurotic writer turns! This is a monthly blog list where writers from all around the globe join forces and yell at the Universe :). Join us!





With this group, we have the option to run wild on our own, or answer a monthly question. Today I decided to do both!

 Mwhahaaaaa!

First, my own little bits of madness. Writing life. When something bad happens to a writer: rejection, bad reviews, more rejection, etc, we often go global on it.  The "Oh my GAWD! A reader hated my book! An agent rejected me! I MUST SUCK!" This is true for all aspects of life but I'm just focusing on the writing part ;). One apple is bad, therefore we must burn down the entire orchard in our woe.

Yet when something great happens--good reviews, nice agents, winning awards, we get excited immediately, then it fades. Part of our tiny lizard brain is certain it was a fluke or mistake. We don't go there with the bad stuff, oh no. That is clearly an indication that we are awful writers.

But the good? "Gotta be a mistake."  I very recently (like last Friday) won an award through the Fantasy, Futuristic, and Paranormal chapter of the RWA--a Prism. I had my moments of doubt when I was named a finalist for Warrior Wench. Then extreme happiness when the book won. Then back to doubts. Seriously? Why is it we are conditioned to make the bad global and the good a "fluke"? (I'm asking- if any of you know why ;)).

I realized that was pretty dumb (and yes, I have a Master's in Psychology and it took all these years to realize that was a dumb way to operate ;)).  

Did the win change my life? I now get to call myself a "multiple award winning author" so that's cool. But aside from that-no changes in sales, or life in general. But guess what? The bad things didn't destroy me either.  So to all of my fellow neurotic writers out there- let's treat our successes at least as focused as we do our failures!

Onto the IWSG question of the month--Peeves.

My biggest as a reader is when an author focuses on something, extremely focuses on it...then doesn't do anything with it. I read a lot of series, so I know sometimes a focus on one book doesn't pay off until a future book. But when it never does? GRRRRRRR.

What's your biggest peeve?

Happy IWSG Day!




19 comments:

  1. LOL! Authors are so bipolar. =) Honestly, it doesn't matter how mentally and emotionally stable we are, this business is brutal. I think only big name politicians deal with the same level of trauma.

    HUGE congrats on the award. Rock on!

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    1. Yes we are! We're in an insane business, and we keep coming back for more! Thank you for the congrats!

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  2. I think we're conditioned by culture to do it, particularly women, I'm afraid. If only I knew how to re-condition my brain!
    angelinetrevena.co.uk/insecure-writers-support-group-sunscreen-and-scary-stuff

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    1. We just need to keeping shutting that behavior down when we catch it. For me, it's catching it that's the issue!

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  3. Congrats on the Prism award! I was just at RWA National experiencing a very different conference this year. I was a Rita award finalist for best first book and I had a lot of trouble believing I deserved it. I know I worked hard and I'm proud of my book, but it's a fluffy YA about fashion and girl power and cute boys. I think we're toughest on ourselves.

    Here is my IWSG post for August: Top First Pages Pet Peeves AND How to Fix Them!

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    1. Congrats on the Rita final! I've never entered that one, but I know how very hard it is to final :).

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  4. Congrats on the Prism! Tough award with great competition. You should be very proud of yourself! I'm the same way about reviews. I remember the bad ones and forget the good ones. How dumb can I be? LOL

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    1. Thank you! When I really sit down and think about it, I'm gobsmacked! We need to ignore those negative reviews and charge forward!

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  5. Congratulations on the award, that is awesome!
    The negative does stick with us. Conditioning? Need to change that, they say you can. Not sure I have the patience! :)

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    1. Thank you! I'm hoping that being aware if it will help me change my thinking ;).

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  6. Being a writer is like being on a long winding path. You can't judge yourself on where you were a few steps ago, you have to compare yourself to where you were when you first started. Little ups and downs will be swallowed up by the entire journey.

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  7. Congratulations on the win-- embrace self-doubt and use it while editing. It is just a part of who we all are as writers.

    With all the trials, life's little moments are still worth it.

    Damyanti

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  8. It does seem e are more inclined to believe the bad than the good. Human nature i guess.

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  9. Congratulations on being a multiple award winning author! That's awesome. :) My biggest pet peeve when it comes to reading is when a book has errors galore, whether it's spelling or grammar. Have a great night. Eva

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  10. I think society conditions us. We are taught to deny complements and believe criticism. How often do we find ourselves minimizing our accomplishments when someone complements us. Years ago, a friend asked me why I could not just accept a complement, why did I have to qualify it with phrases like "I didn't do that much" or "Anyone could have done the same." Now when I get a complement, or win an award I say "Thank you." And guess what, I now believe it when someone complements me.

    What's hard is how much society (read people)judge us. If you just accept a complement without marginalizing it, people often think you are arrogant or conceited. If you show confidence in your abilities you are arrogant or conceited. Now I am working on not judging others. I am actively working on admiring people who are confident. It has made a huge difference.

    Grats on your awards. I have read both winning books and the awards are well deserved. Keep writing, I look forward to the next books.

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